Simple Steps for the Whole You

Embracing Imperfection


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Embracing Imperfection

Welcome to episode #63. Today, we are talking about getting free of the hold that perfectionism may have on us. We take a compassionate look at the part of us that longs to avoid criticism and see what it needs.

Brene Brown is a wonderful resource on this topic. Here’s her definition of perfectionism: “Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, work perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid of minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

Brown also offers us 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living:

Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What Other People Think 

Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go of Perfectionism 

Cultivating Your Resilient Spirit, Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness

Cultivating Gratitude and Joy, Letting go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark

Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith, Letting Go of the Need for Certainty

Cultivating Creativity and Letting Go of Comparison 

Cultivating Play and Rest, Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth

Cultivating Calm and Stillness and Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle

Cultivating Meaningful Work, Letting Go of Self-Doubt and Supposed-To

Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance. And Letting Go of Cool and Always in Control

We also talk about the benefits of of IFS for Perfectionists: Another Way to Look at Perfectionism. Internal Family Systems (IFS) was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. If you have seen the Inside Out movies, you have a great understanding of IFS. Anger, sadness, joy, fear, and disgust…all were parts of Riley. IFS sees the mind as made up of different "parts" or subpersonalities, each with its own perspectives, emotions, and roles. In IFS, these parts are thought of as a sort of "internal family," with each part playing a unique role in a person’s psyche. The goal of IFS therapy is to help people understand and heal these parts so they can work together harmoniously.

Simple Steps:

  1. Acknowledge and embrace the inner critic or perfectionistic part of yourself. What does it feel like? What does it look like? How does it show up in your life?

  2. Next time you notice that part of you showing up, try noticing it with kindness. Get curious about why it is showing up. How is it trying to help you?

  3. Helpful Resources Specific for this Episode:

    The Gifts of Imperfection: https://a.co/d/7Zyd51w

    Altogether You (a resource for IFS): https://a.co/d/58LEElk


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