The Mindset and Self-Mastery Show

Embracing Self-Mastery On The Parenting Journey With Anne Wallen


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“The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start.”

In this episode, Nick speaks with Anne Wallen to dive into the intricate relationship between maternal health, psychological preparation for parenting, and the impact of childhood trauma on parenting styles. Anne shares her personal journey as a maternal health professional and mother of six, emphasizing the importance of meeting a baby’s needs and the psychological aspects of parenting.

What to listen for:

  • Maternal health is crucial for every human being
  • The psychological preparation for parenting is as important as physical preparation
  • Trauma from childhood can affect parenting styles and decisions
  • Meeting a baby’s needs is essential for their psychological development
  • Self-awareness is key to breaking generational trauma cycles
  • Understanding the impact of trauma can help in parenting
  • “Unhealed wounds don’t disappear when you become a parent; they show up.”

    • Parenting activates old patterns you didn’t even know were still there
    • Triggers often come from your past, not your child’s behavior
    • Awareness gives you a pause between reaction and response
    • Healing yourself reduces the chance of repeating the same cycles
    • “Safety is the foundation of healthy development.”

      • Feeling safe shapes the brain, nervous system, and emotional regulation.
      • Consistent responsiveness teaches a child that they matter
      • Emotional safety supports curiosity, confidence, and resilience
      • A regulated parent creates a regulated environment
      • About Anne Wallen

        Anne is a respected figure in women’s health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care – particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women’s healthcare worldwide.

        • https://www.maternitywise.com
        • https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-wallen-08478035/
        • https://www.instagram.com/maternitywise/
        • Resources:

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          Click Here To View The Episode Transcript

          Nick McGowan (00:00.91)Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Anne Wellen. Anne, how you doing today? I’m good. I’m really excited to get into this. I think this is going to be a different conversation than what we typically have, but we were just talking and talking and at one point you’re like, you’re not recording? I’m like, no, let’s start this now.

          Anne Wallen (00:10.602)I’m good, how are you?

          Nick McGowan (00:25.614)So this will be great. And why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre.

          Anne Wallen (00:34.382)Okay, well, I am the director of Maternity Wise International, which what we do is we train doulas and childbirth educators and lactation support people. I’ve been doing this for 23, 24 years now, and it’s pretty much my life. I love maternal health. It’s so, important to every human on this planet. And maybe the…

          An interesting factoid about me is that I have six kids. A lot of people, when you tell them you have six kids, they’re like, my gosh. And yes, I birthed them all. But five of them are adults. I have a little nine-year-old as well. She was a surprise, like the best kind of surprise. But yeah, so my six kids and yes, that’s really the main reason why I got into the work that I got into when I had my first at 17.

          and didn’t feel like I could be the mom that she deserved, loved her so, so, so much. And I had some family friends that I grew up with who actually babysat me who had been struggling with fertility issues. And so I chose to let them adopt her. And we have had an amazing, beautiful extended family relationship. And she recently gave birth to her first daughter just this summer. So I am officially a grandma in addition to all the other things that I do, but

          Yeah, that’s a little factoid that most people don’t know. But she’s part of the reason she’s the main reason why I became a mental health professional or a maternal health professional. And a lot of the way things have gone through my life, not just how I was raised, but experiences thereafter have gotten me very interested in mental health. And so I like to kind of create this intersection between the both worlds. And I look at things from a very psychological perspective. So this is

          This is gonna be a fun one.

          Nick McGowan (02:29.229)Yeah, I think everything ties back into that. It’s not even just a physical thing. Like I even said to you, somebody has a baby and they go home and how their partner reacts to whatever’s going on or the chaos or whatever the thing is, how does that then tie into the baby and how does the baby move throughout life? Even with you having a kid at 17, you are a child at 17. Though I’m sure we can both think back to 17 years old and thinking I’m grown ass adult and I can do all the things in the world, but you are not. You’re a child.

          Anne Wallen (02:50.412)Hmm.

          Nick McGowan (02:59.039)And the fact that you had somebody that you could hand the baby over to that you knew, you trusted, and you were able to have a relationship, it sounds like that could almost be like an ABC sitcom, you know what I mean?

          Anne Wallen (03:05.325)Mm-hmm.

          Anne Wallen (03:13.356)Yeah, well, I mean, my life is, I always joke that, like, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But I always joke that, you know, Hallmark probably wouldn’t agree to make a movie because my life is so far-fetched. But yes, that’s, that was such a, such a blessing because I really knew that I was not going to be able to do what she needed as far as mothering. And I’ve, you know, hadn’t even finished high school yet. And

          my wonderful, wonderful and she was my next door neighbor growing up. And I just knew that they were the right people to take care of her and they raised her and she’s an amazing human being. And it’s just really wonderful to have this open relationship at this point, especially, you know, now that she’s having babies of her own. it was really cool too during COVID. She took one of my doula trainings because she was going to be a doula for a friend of hers. So

          Just a really cool, you know, like sometimes things just come full circle and you just, little blessings, little surprises. So.

          Nick McGowan (04:22.764)And you wouldn’t have been able to script that. Like, I love when that stuff happens in life where it’s like, I’m gonna have a baby, hand it over to my neighbor, because I love them. And then years later, like, really? Somebody would be like, that’s crazy. Get out of my office, you know?

          Anne Wallen (04:24.863)No!

          Anne Wallen (04:37.355)Yeah, well, I I knew that I didn’t, I knew that I probably wouldn’t be okay with just never knowing. know, some moms, and I’ve supported moms as their doula through giving their baby away. I’ve supported adopting families as well. it’s, I am really, really fortunate because I don’t think that most people could go through that experience and it would be, I mean,

          Don’t get me wrong, it was heartbreaking. It’s still heartbreaking that I wasn’t able to raise her myself. I mean, I’ve had five other kids since then and I know what it is to be a mom and I know what things I’ve missed out on. But being able to have an open adoption is really, really something special and I know some people don’t have that option. And so to be able to give your baby to someone that you think that you can trust and then hope that they’re doing what you would want them to do.

          That’s a whole level of, yeah, that’s tough, that’s hard. So, yeah.

          Nick McGowan (05:43.52)could only imagine. I have no idea what that would be like. I don’t have kids, not gonna have kids. And I couldn’t imagine what that’s like just handing a child over. I’ve talked to different people that have had either abortions or they’ve adopted, they’ve handed kids off to be adopted and then just haven’t ever talked to them again or people that have had some kid that are like, hey, by the way, about 30 years ago, you and my mom on a beach.

          And here we ar...

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          The Mindset and Self-Mastery ShowBy Nick McGowan