"When we're in the moment, and the person does this thing, we lose access to our emotional skills and our ability to work together. How can we calm ourselves down so that we can get back access to that, so that we can show up as the more skillful versions of ourselves? How can we engage with the other person to help them show up as a more skillful version of themselves?"

Paul  & Karen talk about interrupting our own tendency to get emotionally hijacked and using that to shift unproductive interactions.