“I’ve come to believe that connecting is one of the most important business—and life—skill sets you’ll ever learn. Why? Because, flat out, people do business with people they know and like. Careers—in every imaginable field—work the same.” Keith Ferrazzi in Never East Alone.

As many as 8 out of 10 people find the jobs they are in through people they know, otherwise known as networking. However, many people I speak with are uncomfortable, disorganized or unclear about how important it is to have the right view of how the networking works. So let’s take the discomfort out of networking and get inspired to initiate, energize and enjoy the most successful job search tool in the business world.

At the most basic level, networking is re-connecting with the people you know, connecting with the people they know and making new connections that can lead to exciting outcomes. A lot of people unfortunately think that networking is all about desperately wandering around groups or their community asking for a job. It’s no wonder that they find this an embarrassing and daunting thing to do.

I propose instead:

1. A mindset shift - flip from desperately seeking employment to enjoyable connecting with people in the working world. They may help you and you may help them. Take on an attitude of exploration and discovery and make it enjoyable to connect with people to support each other. You will find yourself with a new level of energy for networking.

2. Go to events - with the following clarity of purpose - to meet new people, gather new experiences and share information. Networking events are neither the right places to ask for new jobs, nor even necessarily to broadcast that you are looking for work. You don’t have to do much selling of yourself in a networking event, but you can let people know what you are up to in a calm confident way. Events are where you make connections that you’ll want to follow up with (see #3), not necessarily where you ask for or get job interviews.

3. Follow up - with a bite or a beverage. A meeting for breakfast, lunch, coffee or drinks is where you really get to connect and explore opportunities and possibilities. I invite you to approach these like you are two people who have a lot to share with each other. Know and trust that you have a lot to offer from your experiences and the people you know. Share jokes and personal humorous stories. Human beings are wired to connect. Just connecting alone can be valuable to the other person.

4. Make and honor requests - this is the most important step, and the one that most people don’t fully follow through on well. Ask for the connections you want. Be clear about who you want to meet and what kind of opportunities you are exploring. If you are seeking a CEO or other C-Level or executive position, ask people you meet to connect you to board members, private equity investors and relevant recruiters. Make a request to look on LinkedIn together to see what connections you can make for each other. You’ll see how closely we are all connected when you have been on LinkedIn for some time.

These steps will get you started on the networking road. Next week we look how to nurture the relationships you start or renew in your network.

So how about you? What will you do this week to upgrade your approach and activity in this wonderful world of networking?