England behind closed doors, Jose to blame for Brexit and Lasagne is Italian

Could the next change to football be in the commentary, taking a lesson from the golf course? Is Jose got his sights set on a career in politics once he gets the inevitable sacking from United? Speaking of sacking, what did Steve Bruce do with that cabbage? We actually don't know, we're seriously asking... And while we try and figure out who Mr Smith is, the footballer with the best name ever has let his presence been known.