How much distance is needed between you and your topic & character when either / both are based on real-life events?  When it is healing & when is it too painful to write about personal events?

Today we’ll be discussing the challenges of writing about difficult events and people in our lives.  As writers, we often mine our own life for material.  This tends to be true regardless of what form you prefer to write in.  How do you navigate this?  Do you include the good, the bad, and the ugly?  Do you revise history to avoid ruffling feathers?  What are you willing to sacrifice, in terms of relationships, when it comes to sharing your history in such a public way?