Summary

In this moving episode, we follow “The Optimizer Dad” through an eight-hour goodbye to his Great Aunt Ruth. True to his nature, he approaches even grief with a system—packing, planning, and preparing each detail with precision. But beneath the spreadsheets and schedules lies something deeper: a love expressed through steadiness, presence, and intentionality. Alongside his daughter Lily, Mike demonstrates how structure can hold space for grief, how planning can be an act of love, and how faith provides a framework when life feels uncertain.

This is more than a story about loss—it’s a reflection on fatherhood, legacy, and what it means to “do it right” when it matters most.

Takeaways

• Systems are not about control—they’re about creating space for love to flow.
• Margin is a gift. Building extra time into plans reduces stress and invites peace.
• Planning is a form of love. Good plans protect good people in hard moments.
• Faith and systems work together. Trust God with what you can’t control; steward what you can.
• Small rituals matter. A piece of candy, a sketchbook, or a gentle word can anchor people in grief.
• Leadership in grief is quiet, not loud. True steadiness is felt, not forced.
• Children learn how to process life’s hardest questions by watching how we live.
• Closure doesn’t erase grief—it provides a container so healing can begin.

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