Welcome to From the Cutting Room Floor — the variety show nobody asked for and everybody needs.

Here's the thing about recording a podcast: for every episode you actually hear, there are approximately forty-seven tangents that got left on the floor. Not because they weren't good. Because they were too random, too chaotic, or too unhinged to find a home anywhere else. This is where those tangents live now.

From the Cutting Room Floor is usually a Patreon exclusive — today you're getting a free peek. If you like what you hear, you know where to find the rest of it.

This inaugural episode covers: the aftermath of some unlabeled chocolate chip cookies from a friend's garden, Grandma Judy's Wi-Fi password, the parasocial relationship Molly has developed with the black mold in her water bottle straw, thong theft at Mervyn's, Jake's very Disney approach to dirty talk, and a Mormon housewife's genuinely airtight logic about abortion prevention
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There is no throughline. That's the point.

In this episode:

• Unlabeled garden cookies, a delayed onset, and a very bad idea to double up
• Don't shit where you eat: a cautionary tale
• Grandma Judy's Wi-Fi password 
• Molly's water bottle, the mold, and why Manny is not allowed to drink from it
• Stolen thongs from Mervyn's and the mom who took it straight to abstinence
• The Mormon housewife theory of abortion prevention that actually holds up
• Jake's dirty talk, a prank bowl cut, and "the most wonderful things"

From the Cutting Room Floor drops regularly on Patreon. Subscribe for more of the chaos that doesn't make the main feed.

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