Season 2, Episode 7: Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Manage Up at Work?

Episode Description

We’ve all seen it—or done it. The awkward compliment. The carefully crafted update. The subtle self-promotion. But where’s the line between managing up and straight-up sucking up?

In this episode of Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Be Human at Work?, hosts Pinaki Kathiari and Chris Lee unpack the complicated world of influencing your boss. Managing up can be smart and strategic—or manipulative and maddening. So how do we make sense of it?

Together, they explore:

• Why managing up gets a bad rap (hello, teacher’s pet flashbacks)
• How cultural norms and personality types affect how we manage up
• Why good work alone doesn’t always get noticed
• How leaders can avoid playing favorites and foster real team trust
• What it means to advocate for yourself without stepping on others
• The duality of being both an influencee and an influencer
• The ethics of self-promotion, power, and career strategy

From Confucian hierarchy and classroom memories to corporate communication and performance reviews, this episode is packed with perspectives from all sides of the power dynamic.

Timestamps

• 00:00 – Why this topic hits a nerve (and reminds us of high school)
• 03:00 – “Managing up” vs. “kissing up”: Is there a difference?
• 06:00 – How cultural backgrounds influence workplace dynamics
• 08:00 – The big picture: Everyone sees the org from a different vantage point
• 10:00 – Self-awareness before self-advocacy: Check your blind spots
• 13:00 – When ambition meets group work: Getting credit without gloating
• 15:00 – The echo chamber of leadership feedback
• 18:00 – Building strong relationships: trust, advocacy, and transparency
• 21:00 – Annual reviews, promotions, and the art of recognition
• 25:00 – Team unity vs. individual credit: a delicate balance
• 28:00 – The role of managers: coaches or competitors?
• 31:00 – How managers can spot invisible contributions
• 33:00 – Dale Carnegie, power plays, and staying human

Wisdom That Feels So Right

• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
• Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink
• Get to the Point by Joel Schwartzberg
• TEDx Talk by Elizabeth Xu at TEDxCSTU: “Why Manage-Up Kills Career" Elizabeth Xu, Ph.D.
• Transform HR Conference – Yes, we went and we'll do it again!

Mic-Drop Moments

“Managing up feels wrong when it stops being about the mission—and starts being about the mirror.”

“Your job isn’t just to work hard. It’s to be seen, valued, and understood for it.”

“We’re all on the same team—until performance reviews make us forget that.”

Connect with Us

Pinaki Kathiari – LinkedIn | Local Wisdom

Chris Lee – LinkedIn | Gallagher Communication

Special Thanks

To the brilliant minds at Local Wisdom, thank you for 25 years of helping people communicate clearly, effectively, and humanely. To Brielle Saracini, our fearless producer, and to SBX Productions.  You are the real MVPs behind the mic.

Your Turn to Speak Up

Has managing up helped you or backfired? Have you ever felt unseen, unrecognized, or unfairly outshined? Share your story, tag us in your reflections, or drop a review. We want to hear your take on the delicate art of managing in every direction.

Special thanks to digital communication agency Local Wisdom (www.localwisdom.com) for really believing in our mission and making this podcast possible. 

If this episode made you think differently, laugh, or even yell out loud, we want to hear about it! Connect with us on LinkedIn, and don’t forget to rate, review, and share – maybe with your work bestie… or even your boss if you're feeling bold.

We also bring these important conversations to conferences and private workshops, creating space for real, meaningful change. Take the first step at www.whydoesitfeelsowrong.com.

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