We generally agree on a lot of "shoulds" such as:

-we should eat healthy foods

-we should exercise

-people should be nice

When we believe something or someone "should" be different, then we often feel frustrated or resentful or disconnected or even angry.

Believing anything or anyone "should" be different, can be a problem if we don't ultimately want to FEEL the way we do (it can be helpful to question our well-intended "shoulds.")

What is the upside to thinking that someone or something (including ourselves) "should" be different? Does it serve me to believe that?

Choosing to believe that everyone (including me) is exactly how they are supposed to be, really serves me; it helps me to access love and kindness, compassion, and empathy, rather than resisting who they ARE being.

Same principle applies to ourselves; if we think we should be different in any way, it makes it challenging to have kindness and compassion on ourselves.

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