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Ep 11 - This is Not Normal - How to Recognise, Escape and Thrive After Abuse with Vanessa White
This week Ang is joined by Vanessa White, an accredited relationship and divorce master coach who specialises in domestic abuse. Vanessa thought she was happily married. But, when she came to the realisation that she was in fact in an abusive relationship her life fundamentally changed. After finding the courage to leave the relationship and the strength to move on, Vanessa decided to become a relationship coach to help people that were experiencing what she herself had experienced. In this interview with Ang, Vanessa talks about types of abuse, how to spot it, how to safely leave a relationship and how life can go on once you are free.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Vanessa, who herself has gone through a divorce, reflects on what she learned from the process, and details how learning to put yourself first can shape not only your future as an individual but as a partner in new relationships.
- The majority of people that are in abusive relationships don’t know they’re in abusive relationships. Through her own experience, Vanessa recounts how she finally realised her partner was abusive and the mental and emotional turmoil that resulted due to this revelation.
- Even after you leave your abusive partner the abuse can, and many times does, continue. Vanessa details the ways in which abusive behaviour can manifest post divorce, the warning signs to look out for and how to get the right help from the right people.
- If you have children then they too will suffer from the fallout of an abusive relationship. Vanessa, who has four children, discusses the approach she took to both protect her children and to make sure that their upbringing would be safe and healthy.
BEST MOMENTS
“Don’t abandon your own needs. No strong, healthy relationship can be built on that foundation.”
“Find somebody that wants to be with you for you.”
“The tragedy of abuse is that the person that is supposed to be loving you the most is the one that is hurting you.”
EPISODE LINKS
www.vanessawhite.co.uk
e-mail [email protected]
www.linkedin.com/in/vanessawhite
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100094770073631
www.instagram.com/vanessawhitecoaching
https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414
www.tiktok.com/@angallanburns
www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns
e-mail [email protected]
ABOUT THE PODCAST
Do I Really Hate Men?
Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside.
This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.
My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain, lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.
NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children.
ABOUT THE HOST
Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie.
Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be released later this year which NEEDS to be read by women worldwide. With a high level of emotional intelligence she works tirelessly to improve the lives of womankind through her words, both digitally and at speaking events globally.
With a six year divorce behind her, Ang represented herself in court a total of 6 times. She has been a single parent of two boys for a total of 14 years. She has lived through the struggles and come out the other side. Her words, honesty and humour captivates her audience.
View all episodes
By Ang Allan-BurnsThis week Ang is joined by Vanessa White, an accredited relationship and divorce master coach who specialises in domestic abuse. Vanessa thought she was happily married. But, when she came to the realisation that she was in fact in an abusive relationship her life fundamentally changed. After finding the courage to leave the relationship and the strength to move on, Vanessa decided to become a relationship coach to help people that were experiencing what she herself had experienced. In this interview with Ang, Vanessa talks about types of abuse, how to spot it, how to safely leave a relationship and how life can go on once you are free.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Vanessa, who herself has gone through a divorce, reflects on what she learned from the process, and details how learning to put yourself first can shape not only your future as an individual but as a partner in new relationships.
- The majority of people that are in abusive relationships don’t know they’re in abusive relationships. Through her own experience, Vanessa recounts how she finally realised her partner was abusive and the mental and emotional turmoil that resulted due to this revelation.
- Even after you leave your abusive partner the abuse can, and many times does, continue. Vanessa details the ways in which abusive behaviour can manifest post divorce, the warning signs to look out for and how to get the right help from the right people.
- If you have children then they too will suffer from the fallout of an abusive relationship. Vanessa, who has four children, discusses the approach she took to both protect her children and to make sure that their upbringing would be safe and healthy.
BEST MOMENTS
“Don’t abandon your own needs. No strong, healthy relationship can be built on that foundation.”
“Find somebody that wants to be with you for you.”
“The tragedy of abuse is that the person that is supposed to be loving you the most is the one that is hurting you.”
EPISODE LINKS
www.vanessawhite.co.uk
e-mail [email protected]
www.linkedin.com/in/vanessawhite
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100094770073631
www.instagram.com/vanessawhitecoaching
https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414
www.tiktok.com/@angallanburns
www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns
e-mail [email protected]
ABOUT THE PODCAST
Do I Really Hate Men?
Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside.
This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.
My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain, lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.
NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children.
ABOUT THE HOST
Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie.
Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be released later this year which NEEDS to be read by women worldwide. With a high level of emotional intelligence she works tirelessly to improve the lives of womankind through her words, both digitally and at speaking events globally.
With a six year divorce behind her, Ang represented herself in court a total of 6 times. She has been a single parent of two boys for a total of 14 years. She has lived through the struggles and come out the other side. Her words, honesty and humour captivates her audience.