Most of us walk into relationships without ever stopping to ask ourselves what we actually need. And that is exactly where things start to unravel.

Ruby Raja is back on the DaliTalks Podcast. She is the founder of Inshiraa, a certified trauma facilitator and trainer licensed in the BeyondTrauma modality, and the author of Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: Journeys from Abuse to Freedom.

In this episode, Ruby breaks down what non-negotiables really are, why so many women give them up the moment feelings get involved, and how knowing who you are before you enter a relationship changes everything.

We get into love bombing and how it works, why financial independence is one of the most important tools a woman can have, how language reveals character from the very first interaction, and what parents and caring adults can do when a teenager they love is showing signs of being in an abusive relationship.

If you have ever found yourself in a relationship and realized you had slowly stopped doing everything you loved, this episode is going to hit home.

00:00 Opening: How love bombing works and why time protects you

01:00 Welcome back Ruby Raja and what we are covering today

01:30 What non-negotiables are and why most people never define them

03:00 How Disney and rom-coms set us up for unrealistic relationship expectations

04:00 Why women break boundaries more often and what men notice

05:30 How partners slowly wedge themselves between you and your friendships

07:00 Non-negotiables change at different life stages

08:00 What to consider when children are involved

09:00 How much time should you give a new relationship?

10:00 Religion, culture, and values as non-negotiables

12:00 When cultural differences become deal breakers

13:00 Communication and compromise as the foundation of lasting relationships

14:00 The unspoken labor divide when both partners work and have children

16:00 The most basic questions to ask yourself before entering a relationship

18:00 Why time is one of your most important non-negotiables

19:00 Love bombing explained and how to protect yourself from it

21:00 Language as a red flag: what words reveal about character

23:00 How cultural backgrounds shape what language is acceptable

25:00 The money conversation nobody wants to have but everyone should

29:00 Financial control as a tool of domestic violence

31:00 Why lending money in relationships is a boundary worth protecting

34:00 Co-signing and other financial traps to avoid

35:00 How financial independence gives you the power to leave

37:00 When communication style becomes a non-negotiable

41:00 The connection between ignored boundaries and bullying

43:00 Red flags in texting and communication patterns

47:00 What to do when a teenager in your life is in an abusive relationship

50:00 How to plant seeds without overwhelming them

52:00 Where to find Ruby and her free resources

Connect with Ruby: https://www.inshiraa.com

Email: [email protected]

Ruby's Books: https://www.thegreatbritishbookshop.co.uk/products/healing-from-narcissistic-abuse?_pos=1&_sid=8949f0898&_ss=r

Connect with Dali and learn about DaliTalks: https://www.dalitalks.com/linktree

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