Trigger Warnings: Trump's State of the Union, the Academy Awards, petty revenge, the DNC, Nancy Pelosi, Iowa, Hi-Chew, incompetence, cardboard boxes, fancy bitch nail polish, healthcare, media markets, urban sweat lodges, fruit salad with marshmallows, drama, ranked choice voting, Amazon Prime, the Yang Gang, long-acting reversible contraceptives, Carrot Top

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