Surprised to see us checking in on you? You know us baby, we wouldn't leave you. We'd never leave you. In fact, we're going to slide back into your Spotify alerts and gaslight the hell out of you and tell you we were here all along. The episodes must've gotten lost in the mail. Boo hoo. But we're back now baby. Let's just turn down the lights, put some Luther Vandross on mute, and fire up a bowl of spaghetti bolognaise because we're about to compare every team's first half of the Premier League season to a food or dish. Bon appetite.