Chamber of Secrets ends with many bangs (including the one between Percy and Penelope Clearwater, heh heh heh). Tom Marvolo Riddle teaches Harry a handy anagram; Hermione figures everything out but gets zero credit; Ginny learns the dangers of journaling; Dobby is a free elf; Dumbledore twinkles a little too much; and Lockhart makes some extremely poor choices. Special guest: Deus ex Weepy Bird!

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