Autism, ADHD and the Myths We Need to Retire, with Cathy Wassell

This week we're joined by Cathy Wassell, founder and CEO of Autistic Girls Network and The Haven, and author of the best-selling book Nurturing Your Autistic Young Person.

Cathy's own journey started when her daughter was diagnosed autistic at 13, during a mental health crisis, after years of nobody suggesting it. That experience led her to build one of the UK's leading communities supporting autistic girls and their families, and more recently, an online school for young people who've fallen out of mainstream education entirely.

In this episode we talk about:

• Why girls are diagnosed on average six years later than boys, and what "internalising" vs "externalising" autism actually means
• Masking (and why it's rarely a conscious choice, especially in kids)
• How to spot the signs at home when your child holds it together all day at school
• Why autism and ADHD so often show up together, and what that "tug of war" in the brain can look like day to day
• The myth of autistic people lacking empathy, and why Cathy wants it retired for good.
• Why autonomy is one of the most important things you can offer a neurodivergent child, even when it's hard to hand over control
• What The Haven is doing differently for young people who've been out of school for months or years

A few of Cathy's key lines:

• Masking is a survival technique, not a deliberate act
• Behaviour that looks "sudden" almost never is, you just didn't see the build-up
• If you accept your child's autonomy, you have to accept they get to say no sometimes too
• Some autistic people, especially autistic girls, have hyper-empathy, not none at all

Resources mentioned:

• Autistic Girls Network's white paper, Autism, Girls and Keeping It All Inside (includes their symptom checklist)
• The Haven, Autistic Girls Network's online school
• Books recommended by Cathy's trustee Emily, and by Pete Wharmby

Find Cathy and Autistic Girls Network:

• Website: autisticgirlsnetwork.org
• The Haven: thehavenonline.school
• Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn: Autistic Girls Network