Happy Friday! Peaches is unusually hyped — and exhausted — for this episode of Peaches Pit Party, where the weirdest stories of the week meet aggressive opinions, March Madness chaos, and the loss of the greatest iced tea known to man.

In today’s show:

• Sleep Token's entire tour sells out in minutes, causing Peaches to relive his Ticketmaster trauma (and someone paid how much for pit tickets?!)
• Papa Roach ticket giveaways are done — congrats to the screamers — and next week begins Whispering 311, a brand-new ASMR-style contest where listeners whisper their way to free tickets
• Gene Simmons tries to charge fans $12,000 to be his roadie and Peaches is DONE
• Lipton murders Peach Iced Tea and has the audacity to post a eulogy
• DMV appointment scalpers in Florida are now a thing, and you can’t even be surprised anymore
• A Florida man’s family roasts him in his obituary and it’s hilariously savage
• TikTok thinks people are eating mermaids and Peaches can’t look away
• And someone stole a golden toilet from Churchill’s birthplace…because of course they did

Plus, in To Peach Their Own, Peaches asks: “What’s something people pretend to like but secretly hate?” From baby photos to corporate ‘mandatory fun’ to hairdresser guilt-lies, the calls are brutal and beautiful.

Also:

• March Madness bracket drama in the office (Peaches is watching you, Maddie)
• The Shot Clock Sports Update features weird ravioli injuries, hardcore trail races, and season two of Netflix’s Quarterback
• Spring might be creeping in…but Idahoans are still battling wind, snow, and old people asking where your jacket is