Peaches kicks off the week with a minor injury, a muddy IHOP incident, and a full-blown rant about internet chaos — welcome to another absurd and highly relatable episode of Peaches Pit Party.

On today’s show:

• Peaches bites his own finger during lunch. With a McChicken. We’ve all been there (right??)
• Sleep Token’s tour sells out instantly, fans riot, and Peaches posts a legendary rant in the SiriusXM Octane group that will 100% cause drama
• The Whispering 311 ticket contest begins — if you can identify a 311 song by whispered ASMR lyrics, you’re going to the show
• New robot named Aleta is now drawing blood better than nurses — Peaches is NOT on board
• Gene Simmons flops his solo tour while KISS plots a “final” return… again… but this time without the makeup
• The Mets’ AI-generated hot dog bucket is going viral, and Peaches almost believed it (almost)
• Meanwhile, in Russia: fake Billie Eilish and 30 Seconds to Mars concerts are popping up courtesy of disinformation campaigns

Plus:

• Animal escape update: a goat frees a kangaroo in South Carolina, otters go rogue in Wisconsin, and Peaches is just waiting to ride a camel from the Idaho Falls Zoo into the studio
• A Ukrainian man performs surgery on himself using YouTube tutorials and zero common sense
• Shot Clock Sports Update: Mookie Betts buys a bowling team, WNBA goes primetime, and MLB locker rooms crack down on cell phones
• Babymetal and Poppy are collabing and Victor might be moving into the studio permanently

And in today’s To Peach Their Own: “What’s something you’re not ashamed to still love no matter how old you are?” The answers range from naps to blowing bubbles to yelling "WOO!" in the car wash tunnel — it’s pure joy, unfiltered.