It’s a wild Wednesday on Peaches Pit Party — and that’s putting it lightly. Peaches is coming in hot with rants, recaps, chaos, and conspiracy. If you’ve ever questioned the sanity of Facebook commenters, cruise ship announcements, or room temperature water drinkers… this episode is your kind of weird.
Today’s lineup includes:
- A “fitness influencer” dies from three energy drinks and caffeine pills a day. Peaches relives his AFib scare and regrets everything about his Red Bull phase.
- Whispering 311 continues with another round of ASMR lyrics. It takes four callers to get it right, but someone finally cracks “Beautiful Disaster.”
- March Madness updates: all Sweet 16 teams are Power Conference schools for the first time since 1975 — and someone actually won Warren Buffett’s $1M bracket challenge.
- Cruise ship passengers are warned of pirate activity near the Philippines. Peaches suggests we install coin-operated cannons for fun and profit.
- Banana barcode scams hit Walmart, and a Florida woman gets caught… with two kids in her locked car. Not her best day.
Also:
- To Peach Their Own: “What are you totally fine missing out on, no matter what people say?” Answers include bungee jumping, the ocean, and being invited to anything involving RSVPs.
- The Facebook comment section is melting down over Peaches’ AI-generated troll post claiming Sleep Token is the greatest band of all time. Over 500 reactions, and he’s not done yet.
- Another post attacks room temperature water. If you drink it by choice, Peaches “doesn’t trust you” — and the comments go feral.
- A woman gets her hand stuck in her boyfriend’s mouth while filming a video. TikTok doctors are speechless. So is Peaches.
- Cruise influencers are going viral, Malcolm in the Middle is getting a reboot, and the new Dewey looks like he sells Capri Suns in the back hallway.
PLUS:
- Shot Clock Sports Update: a coach moonlighting as an NCAA ump, beeswax candle vibes, face dunking routines, hurricane season panic, and an NHL defenseman who removed all his lightbulbs and now lives by candlelight. Sure.