It’s a Monday of downsizing, digital doomscrolling, and dad wisdom on Peaches Pit Party — where the advice is questionable, the sarcasm is real, and Peaches is caught somewhere between purging his apartment and trolling Facebook groups with AI.

In this episode:

• Peaches kicks off the Chevelle Cipher — decode the emoji push notification, be caller 20, and win tickets to Chevelle, Asking Alexandria, and Dead Poets Society in September
• More Sleep Token Facebook chaos as Peaches’ AI-generated praise post continues to get roasted (and defended) by diehard fans
• Streaming services are stacking up — Peaches cancels most of his subscriptions and rants about the $70 average American spends every month
• He’s also gifting Maddie random electronics and posters like a chaotic thrift store Santa Claus
• Deep thoughts on moving from a 2-bed to a 1-bed apartment, plus the mental gymnastics of throwing things away (followed by “do I dumpster dive to get that back?”)

Also:

• The best unsolicited dad advice from listeners, Reddit, and Peaches' own life (“Just don’t suck” makes a comeback)
• The monitor in the KBEAR studio is still broken, so the vibes are extra analog today
• Shot Clock Sports Update: Coach Prime’s massive new contract, a Yankees bat conspiracy, and a Pirates player fractures his ankle during a home run trot
• Peaches shares listener calls: weird teenager quotes, hacky sack legends, random history facts, and people who still think ATMs just print money
• Studio Ghibli AI portraits strike again — Peaches keeps getting hair and it’s deeply disrespectful
• Tucson OBGYN gets busted for doing C-sections on dogs. Yep, you read that right.
• Trump says he’ll end concert ticket scalping with an executive order — Peaches doesn’t believe it for a second
• Babymetal’s new album drops in June with a stacked guest list including Spiritbox, Polyphia, Tom Morello, and Poppy
• And yes, Peaches has thoughts about the Morgan Wallen SNL “walk-off”

Plus: the KBEAR March Madness bracket contest gets spicy — Peaches is in second, Victor picked teams without knowing what seeds meant, and someone’s bracket is completely dead.