Peaches is holding on by a baking-soda-covered thread in this jam-packed Tuesday episode of Peaches Pit Party. Between scrubbing grout like a home makeover contestant and dodging a group chat meltdown over July kayaking plans, the show still manages to hit hard with fresh concert news, sports headlines, tech nostalgia, and Florida weirdness — lots of Florida weirdness.

In this episode:

• Deep cleaning the bathroom turns into emotional combat as one friend loses it in the group chat over kayaking plans — and Peaches considers muting humanity
• Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace announce a co-headlining tour with Return to Dust, coming to Salt Lake City Sept. 27th
• Blink-182 drops a new leg of their tour with Alkaline Trio — not hitting Idaho, but still huge
• A Yellowstone tourist gets 7 days in jail for walking too close to Old Faithful — Peaches predicts bison goring headlines are just around the corner
• A real petition to put googly eyes on New Jersey Transit trains takes off, and Peaches is somehow here for it
• Shot Clock Sports Update includes:
  • A major ad mishap involving Roberto Clemente’s logo at PNC Park
  • The NFL draft drama surrounding Deion and Shedeur Sanders
  • Jason Momoa begging for Black Sabbath tickets and accidentally becoming the host

Also:

• Captain’s Quarters restaurant in Kentucky literally floods itself on purpose to survive flood damage — science, or a bet gone too far?
• Peaches ends up on Yahoo News reading a legit academic study titled “I Studied Hooters Girls for a Living” and yes, it’s real
• Debate of the day: Is it weirder to brush your teeth with KFC-flavored toothpaste or be buried in a Snickers-themed coffin?
• Three Florida teens attack the Easter Bunny at a mall — because apparently Florida doesn’t believe in holidays or joy
• Texas might build an Autobahn-style highway with no speed limit, but Peaches is 99% sure it’s fake internet rage bait
• And the true mark of adulthood: Peaches realizes he needs a giant wall calendar to track his shower scrubbing, vacation dates, and the fall of civilization

In To Peach Their Own: “What outdated tech do you secretly miss?”
Listeners call in to shout out:

• The Microsoft Zune
• Nintendo GameCube
• CD players in cars
• Pagers (?!?)
• And actual buttons on phones (RIP tactile feedback)

Also mentioned: Dreamcast, landlines, and iPods full of embarrassing throwbacks.