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Ep 169: Moving forward through grief


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In this episode, Marta alongside with a guest co-host Signe, receives two vulnerable testimonies from mothers moving through their child-related traumas. While Anna finally feels ready to open up to the world to reveal the story of baby Gaby’s traumatic birth, Fatema courageously unlocks her heart to share the story of her baby Kyler passing away just a few hours after he was born. Fatema in her humble, graceful and deeply vulnerable way tells us how she manages to move through the unbearable tragedy of losing your own child.

 

About Fatema

Fatema is a  beautiful and inspiring woman with one of a kind presence. Despite the tragedy she is still moving through, she emanates love and grace. In her every-day life, she’s an artist, working as a Senior Art Director at Lego, married to another quite amazing human, her husband Arun.

 

Our (undescribable) Conversation:
  • Anna, who couldn’t be at the studio personally, in a recording, shares the story of Gabi’s birth and how it has changed her and her life

  • Fatema shares the story of Kyler coming to life and soon after passing away

  • Fatema puts words into the unbearable pain, shock and state that can’t really be described in words

  • Fatema explains how her mind and her body attempt to cope with the trauma

  • Signe shares her beautiful and deeply touching poem

  • Fatema shares how the grief evolves with time and that it is not a linear process

  • Fatema shares some of her fears of baby Kyler being forgotten and how she decides to honour his presence in her life

  • We speak about the father’s grief and how we can sometimes forget that fathers feel the pain just as deeply

  • Signe tells us about a beautiful concept of Kintsugi, which literally means to join with gold; to highlight the cracks instead of hiding them. It can also be an approach for life; a philosophy.

    How to get in contact with Fatema

    If you're a parent moving through grief you can contact her by Messenger: Fatema Barot

    Fatema's LinkedIn

    Signe & her beautiful Poem

    Signe’s Instagram

     

    “On Water & Grief”

     

    grief has a way of bringing you to your knees

    Again and again 

    Without warning

    A wave crashing in

    Cracks your heart open

    Like sand exposed

    By the gentle touch of the aftermath 

    Of silent waves that comes 

    after,

    The tsunami

    Leaves you open,

    Raw, cleansed

    Completely surrendered

    And it whispers in your ear;

    Look at you,

    Look at you

    How beautiful you have become 

    See, 

    How you survived yet another wave

     

    sharp edges on rocks

    Water made you soft,

    Made you gentle

    Water from your tears

    Streaming through your body

    All the way down

    to your feet

    And back again

    Passing through trauma of your ovaries

    your place of birth, life, creativity

    Your womb

    Passes right through the four chambers

    in speed of lightning

    Up through your throat 

    Cleanses, 

    speaks the truth

    Until it lands on your eyelashes

    With thousands more to come

     

    That water is heaven made, holy

    And it flows into the Sea of Women 

    coming before you

    to you

    and through you

     

    Bring them to the Sea

    And show them

    softness,

    Rawness and wilderness 

    Show them the beauty of everything

    we keep underneath

     

    Because as above

    So below

     

    What you keep hidden

    Will come to surface

    The beauty of your shadow will always emerge

    Will always seek the truth within you

    light will always penetrate you

    Like water making its way through mountains

    One drop at a time

    So I dare you,

    Darling,

    Be the fountain for the water to pour through 

    Dive in,

    Dive in deep

    I will hold you when you weep

    And listen,

    Yes, I will listen 

    When you are ready to speak

     

     

     

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