Trigger Warnings: grief, Covid loss, mental health care, Stephen Sondheim, Omicron, TikTok, Ridley Scott, American exceptionalism, eating poop, Diet Coke, dog clothes, aspartame, crushed red pepper, hatred of millennials, rugged individualism, French orgasms, Broadway overtures, Jodie Comer (an adult woman), existential crises, Dante's Circles of Hell

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