There is no way we woke up to student loan interest restarting and tariffs, can we breathe?!?!?! Kamala’s is dropping a book and not running for Cali Gov (y’all had your chance, remember?). Ghislaine Maxwell won’t be getting immunity, but folks still want the Epstein files. American Eagle’s ad with Sydney Sweeney is a hot mess. NYC had a mass shooting, and Texas is in the middle of a flood scandal. Shannon Sharpe got the boot from ESPN. Carl Crawford is offering BBLs with his record deals (I wish this was a joke). Justin Timberlake says he’s got Lyme disease, and Katy Perry might be cozying up with Justin Trudeau. Oh, and Giveon dropped something new, but can he unseat Fridayy? Let’s unpack the mess.

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