Happy 1-year anniversary to Peaches Pit Party — and what better way to celebrate than with chaos, crimes, and controversial condiments.

Today on the show:

• A woman in Zoom court gets the virtual boot for showing up three hours late, wearing a bathrobe, and making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich while the judge talks felony charges.
• To Peach Their Own asks the world-shattering question: What immediately ruins a burger when it’s on it? Answers include pickles, tomatoes, Miracle Whip, and (controversially) eggs.
• Peaches reflects on his former high school classmate—now tattooed and dating on Love Island—while he debates AI therapy and fights with Reddit mods.
• A Florida Karen drives her SUV down a bike path to chase a teen she claims was “riding too fast.” You’ll never guess what her plan was.
• One guy tries to flee from police with a cop still sitting in the car. Spoiler: it doesn’t go great.
• And Jason Richardson subtweets his feelings, Lars from Metallica reads your memes, and Joey Chestnut may return to shove 80+ hot dogs into his face for freedom.

Also: Viktor still refuses to run, and Peaches still hates pickles. It’s Peaches Pit Party, baby. One year in, still weird.