Love songs. But make it D&D alignment.

We start, as always, with zero script and immediate expert analysis. This week we’re sorting iconic love songs into the alignment chart — from pure, lawful devotion to chaotic, possibly concerning obsession.

We debate what actually qualifies as romantic, which songs shaped our childhood understanding of love (for better or worse), and how many wedding staples are… quietly unhinged. There’s yearning. There’s emotional manipulation. There are lyrics we definitely misunderstood at age nine.