This week, Turns Out, It Can Get Worse somehow finds new depths.

I get roasted by a basement-dwelling “boy kisser,” my son accidentally makes a Rest In Peace video for our very alive dog, and a baby voice nearly derails my authority as a father. Things spiral at work after an innocent Google search turns into full-blown HR material, I accidentally catfish the comedy world with a fake Netflix announcement, and I’m physically assaulted by a portaloo flush.

There’s servo scams, pangolin porn, breaking 20s like a criminal mastermind, and one of the worst hecklers I’ve dealt with in years, complete with a handshake and a cancer announcement mid-set.

Plus: rooftop comedy chaos, casino parking inspectors on the prowl, UFC 324 fallout, Netflix recs you should actually watch, and a late-life appreciation for Matchbox Twenty.

It’s messy. It’s dumb. And yes, it somehow gets worse.

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