Handful of Leaves | Mindfulness & Buddhism in Everyday Life

Ep 22: How to argue with your partner (the Buddhist way) (Ft Cynthia Kane)


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After the death of her first love, all Cynthia wanted someone to take away all the hurt and pain. She realized, though, as she sat on her floor surrounded by tissues, that she would have to find a way to do it for herself. Through this search, she found that communication was key. If she wanted to change how she lived in the world she would have to change how she interacted with it, which meant changing how she talked with others and herself.

When she learned the elements of Right Speech in Buddhism she knew she'd found her way out of suffering,

yet she had no idea how actually to put the guidelines into practice, and so began her lifestyle experiment. And soon, the Kane Intentional Communication Practice was born. This practice has now been taught to more than 60k people and is changing marriages, work environments, family dynamics, friendships - lives. She also shares her work in her books:

  • How to Communicate like a Buddhist, 
  • Talk to Yourself like a Buddhist,
  • How to Meditate like a Buddhist.
  • Cynthia is offering a free mini-course to our listeners. It is called Communicate with Confidence: https://www.intentionalconversations.com/intentional-communication-challenge


    Transcript: https://bit.ly/hol-pod22


    TimeStamp

    (00:00:00) Introductions

    (00:00:53) Using Right Speech and Meditation to move out of suffering

    (00:06:00) Changing the way we communicate with ourselves

    (00:09:18) Common communication patterns that give rise to conflict with others

    (00:13:08) Being firm but compassionate in our communication

    (00:16:28) Understanding our core emotions

    (00:20:49) How to argue without being too demanding?

    (00:26:56) How do we communicate when we have hurt others?

    (00:32:20) Communicating on bigger issues

    (00:37:49) Meeting in the middle

    (00:40:36) Ending a difficult conversation

    (00:43:01) Guided meditation


    More about Cynthia and her works:

    https://kanecommunicate.com/

    https://cynthiakane.com/


    Special thanks to our sponsors for this episode:

    Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce


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