This week we crack open Newsies (1992), the Disney musical that raised an entire generation on the power of child labor… but make it jazz hands. We revisit Christian Bale’s “please don’t make me sing” era, the aggressively earnest choreography, and the movie’s bizarre journey from box-office flop to nostalgic comfort blanket. Extra! Extra! We’re roasting—uh, reviewing—it all.

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