This week kicks off with a bloke casually chewing crayons like it’s a 15-part Netflix series and somehow only on part 16… then spirals into April Fools chaos involving fake bike accidents, AI-generated dire wolves, and almost traumatising both kids before breakfast.

There’s servo workers testing my patience (again), a wholesome firefighter moment that nearly restored my faith in humanity, and me lining up at a needle exchange feeling like a full-blown junkie… only to get knocked back while the crackheads breeze through VIP.

We’ve got a sex-related knee injury that ends with me basically re-enacting a war wound, a Logan hospital date night that feels like the most romantic thing you can do in the area, and a new viral character “Bingus” that looks like a Temu clown having an identity crisis.

Comedy-wise, the Gong Show curse continues (always the bridesmaid), but we get real close to breaking it… plus a chaotic Super Mario movie trip where I miss half the film and come back feeling like I’ve woken up mid-fever dream.

It’s chaotic, dumb, slightly unhinged… and somehow still relatable.

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