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Grief arrives without warning, tearing through our carefully constructed lives and leaving us standing at the edge of an abyss. After losing my sister to a stroke on March 1st, 2025, I found myself in that exact position—a qualified counsellor who suddenly couldn't apply any of her knowledge to her own overwhelming pain.

In this deeply personal episode, I share why I've been absent from the podcast and the raw, unfiltered journey through grief that has both challenged and transformed my faith. Despite rallying prayer warriors and fasting on my sister's behalf during her four days in intensive care, I watched my closest star fade away on Shabbat. This experience placed me in a strange spiritual territory where my faith remained unshaken even as my heart shattered.

Perhaps the most unexpected gift emerging from this loss has been reconciliation. My sister's passing somehow created space for me to reconnect with my estranged father and develop capacity for forgiveness I never thought possible. Through tears and scripture—Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, John 11:35, Psalms 34:18—I've discovered that vulnerability isn't weakness but evidence of our capacity to love deeply. As believers, we often feel pressured to "hold it all together," but even Yahshua wept.

If you're walking through your own valley of grief, know that you're not alone. The podcast may be quieter during this healing season, but I'm still here, clinging to Yahuwah while honoring grief as the holy ground it truly is. Whether you're mourning a loss or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a sacred glimpse into how faith can hold us even when prayers seem unanswered and the path forward feels impossible to see.

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