The Rest of Us with Dana Tenille Weekes

Ep 23: Rethinking Rules We Follow, But Do Not Serve Us


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Stop and ask yourself this question: What are the rules that I live by that actually do not serve me? 

In this episode, host Dana Tenille Weekes invites us to question rules around us and our internal scripts that keep us tethered to unrest. 

Dana shares three categories of rules for listeners to rethink or examine closely that may seem obvious to identify, but not always: (1) "this is how it's always been," (2) unified fronts, and (3) shame or conformity, rather than understanding. 

By the end of the episode, Dana facilitates a reflection exercise to help us identify one rule that slowly erodes our sense of self and to embrace a new rule or mindset that can lead us to live the life we desire or want to maintain.   


🧩 The 3 Rule Categories to Rethink:

  1. “This is how it’s always been.”
    • How unchallenged excuses, being incentivized to accommodate, and remaining stuck in perfectionism and binary thinking can make us overlook that we've embraced this rule 
  2. Unified Fronts
    • How presenting a unified front without genuine unity or a genuine interest in achieving it prioritizes control instead of leadership
  3. Shame and Conformity, Rather than Understanding
    • How shame and conformity center judgment, rather than understanding

✍️ Self-Reflection Exercise:

To help listeners shift to embracing rules that serve their lives, Dana closes the episode with a journaling prompt:

  1. Identify: One rule currently shaping your mindset that is not serving you
  2. Ask: What do I actually want to achieve despite this rule?
  3. Reflect: What has kept me from realizing this rule doesn’t serve me?
  4. Act: What is one practical behavior I can adopt to embrace a new rule that is practical, prioritizes my humanity, and gives me grace? 

💬 Memorable Quotes:

 "The problem arises when the rules governing our mindset do not serve us, and as a result, we have disciplined ourselves not to serve ourselves and our humanity."

"Unchallenged excuses will take over your life like a slow boil."

"It is often in the mistakes that the real possibilities are planted or where necessary pivots manifest."

"Some people believe that judgment is the knowledge and understanding you need. It's not. Judgment will remain regardless of whether you conform." 

"Accountability should lead us to learn, grow, and understand ourselves with an open and accepting embrace."


If this episode feels like a message or mirror, feel free to share it with someone who is looking to think about rest differently.

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Until next time, rest, my friends.

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The Rest of Us with Dana Tenille WeekesBy Dana Tenille Weekes