Well, turns out things actually CAN get more insane in this book. This week, a cup had one job and utterly failed to do it; Mad Eye/Barty Jr. played the part of Dr. Evil magnificently; Ron did not handle disappointment well; Karkarov made a decent point; Snape made his most vile remark thus far (high bar); Hermione did everyone's emotional labor for them; and the squid got breakfast. Plus: Does your, erm, "wand" measure up?

This week's chapters: The Four Champions & The Weighing of the Wands

Next week's chapters: The Hungarian Horntail & The First Task