How can we stop treating our clients like our parents? 

As therapists, we often share the experience of having been a parentified child, and this shared background fundamentally shapes the way we practice therapy, creating a unique bond and understanding among us.

The relational patterns we developed as children, regardless of our current relationship with our parents, deeply influence how we manage our relationships with our clients. Recognizing and addressing these patterns is crucial, as repeating them without awareness can lead to disengagement, burnout, and even leaving the field entirely. 

So, how can we shift our approach from treating our clients as we would our parents to treating them as independent adults?

Our journey towards treating our clients as independent adults begins with acknowledging our childhood patterns and the wounds we still carry. This self-awareness is not only a path to personal growth but also a key to improving our professional practice. 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How the relational programming we received in childhood can keep us and our clients stuck
• How successful therapy actually replicates the foundational grief of the parentified child
• Why your relationships with both your favorite and your most challenging clients might be where these relational patterns lurk the most
• Why we have to accept reciprocity and mutual gratification beyond collecting your fee in client relationships
• Why you have to stop coddling your clients and treat them like the capable, strong adults they are
• Why repressing your own emotional reactions to your clients isn’t helping them or you

Learn more about Riva Stoudt:

• Into the Woods Counseling
• The Kiln School
• Instagram: @atherapistcantsaythat
  
  

Resources:

• The Analyst's Vulnerability: Impact on Theory and Practice, Dr. Karen Maroda
• Season 3 Ep 5: From Childhood Wounds to Therapeutic Wisdom with Dr. Karen Maroda
• Season 2 Ep 9: Immediacy in Therapy: Breaking the Fourth Wall with Dr. K Hixson