Melia and Gill discuss the Buddhist parable of the second arrow – the additional pain we cause ourselves when unwelcome things happen – and how to dodge it. This idea can be summed up by an old Buddhist saying made popular by writer Haruki Murakami: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

We feel the first arrow when we experience something painful, and it’s healthy to acknowledge that pain. But often we shoot a second arrow into ourselves by resisting the pain and turning it into anger, shame, criticism, rumination, etc. Melia and Gill share their second arrows of choice and tips for dodging them.

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