Finding Love After 30

Ep 41: You're not bad at manifesting love - you're in the belief gap


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If you’ve tried visualizing, journaling, affirmations, or “manifesting” your dream relationship, and you’re still attracting the same type of men or relationship pattern, this episode is for you.


In this episode, Shonda introduces a concept she calls The Belief Gap:


the space between what you want in love and what your nervous system and subconscious actually believe is safe and possible.


You’ll learn why manifestation doesn’t happen from desire alone, and how to gently close the gap between where you are and the relationship you want, without forcing belief or gaslighting yourself.


In This Episode, We Cover:

  • Why manifesting love often feels frustrating or ineffective
  • What The Belief Gap is and how it blocks real change
  • Why your subconscious cares more about safety than desire
  • The “CD player” metaphor for why affirmations get rejected
  • The money analogy that explains why big desires bounce off the nervous system
  • Why your ideal partner list isn’t the problem—it’s diagnostic
  • How to turn desires into believable mantras that actually work
  • Why belief is built incrementally (and why that’s enough)
  • How closing the Belief Gap changes how you show up in dating


Podcast Episodes Mentioned: Episode 5 How to get what you want with "the list"


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If 2026 is the year you want to call in real love then come find me on Instagram and DM me the word CUSTOM and I’ll send you a personalized dating strategy video.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!


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Finding Love After 30By Shonda Howard