Healing Myself

Ep. 42: About shared realities: Do you even know me?


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In this episode, we dive into the concept of "Shared Reality" and its role in social connections, particularly in group trips and family gatherings. 

We shed light on the distinction between shared reality and shared values and how understanding and respecting each other's perspectives can help reconcile differences and help us to just enjoy the brevity of the moment. Is there alignment in how you and your loved ones show up in the world?  


WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:

Shared reality on group trips [0:30]

  • A shared sense of reality plays an important role in social connections

  • Vacation with friends allows for different values, preferences, and habits to come to light

  • Creating space for people to show up how they choose on vacation can lead to a successful trip and friendship

  • Friendships are not friction-free and disagreement is expected

Shared realities vs shared values  [8:12]

  • There is a difference between shared reality and shared values as someone can have a value system they struggle to live up to.

  • In relationships, shared realities are not always the same and it's important to understand that others may have different perspectives.

  • Reconciling different shared realities requires understanding and respect for each other's experiences.

  • Boundaries need to be set and respected, especially in situations like travel or events.

How to setup expectations [25:15]

  • Have conversations before the trip about what each person wants the trip to look like.

  • Understand everyone's unique circumstances, preferences and lifestyles before planning.

  • Be mindful of limitations, habits, and tendencies

  • Accept that people are who they are, and that's okay.

Shared realities in family gatherings [28:00]

  • The joy of spending time with family and friends despite the challenges of the pandemic.

  • The sense of togetherness and completion when everyone is present and participating in shared activities.


RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:

  • About Shared Realities by PsyPost

  • Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 


TO STAY CONNECTED:

  1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment.

  2. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  3. Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at [email protected].

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Healing MyselfBy Scott and Shaté Hayes