Don't you wish your all-hands meetings took place in spooky graveyards? No? Just LoVo, then? This week: Voldy tells his side of the story; Harry grips his shaking wand; the Death Eaters get the band back together; Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle make a lot more sense; everyone is transported into an '80s laser light show; and Frank Bryce is an excellent heckler. Plus: Evil slapstick!

This week's chapters: The Death Eaters & Priori Incantatum

Next week's chapter: Veritaserum