What happens when you wake up and realize you are living a life built by a past version of yourself? In this deeply resonant episode, Allison sits down with somatic healer and speaker Adele OuYang to explore the terrifying, beautiful, and necessary journey of major identity shifts. Adele opens up about her profound personal evolution through marriage, divorce, motherhood, and entrepreneurship. Together, Allison and Adele dissect the societal and psychological conditioning that keeps women playing small, the paralyzing fear of being "too much" or "not enough," and how to finally make a conscious choice point to get off the wrong train and step into your higher self.

Key Takeaways

• The "Waiting to Be Chosen" Trap: Many women enter early relationships not from a place of conscious self-identity and desire, but from childhood or cultural programming—like the toxic fairy tales we consume—waiting for external validation to feel worthy.
  

• Outgrowing the Decisions of Your Past Self: Relational dynamics often fracture because we make long-term commitments based on who we are in a single moment, yet our core identity and needs naturally evolve over time.
  

• The "Wrong Train" Audit: Adele introduces the concept of recognizing when you’ve been riding the wrong identity train for years. Getting off requires shifting out of your "wounded self" (subconscious conditioning and survival patterns) and accessing your "higher self."
  

• The Suffocating Identity Ping-Pong: Women chronically doubt themselves, stuck in a pendulum swing between feeling not enough (shrinking, apologizing for having needs) and fearing they are too much (taking up space, asking for help, or setting hard boundaries).
  

• Redefining Relationships on Your Own Terms: Adele shares her latest identity shift of being "repartnered" rather than remarried—a conscious choice to untangle her sense of self from traditional expectations and build a partnership rooted in true alignment.

  
  

Timestamps & Chapter Markers

• [00:01] – Welcome to the Yes, I Am Too Much podcast.

• [02:05] – Shifting identity within relationships: How outgrowing past versions of ourselves alters our marriages and partnerships.

• [03:05] – Redefining labels: Adele discusses her latest identity transition into being "repartnered" and rewriting the narrative of what a relationship should look like.

• [04:00] – The Disney princess conditioning: Realizing you entered a life because you were waiting to be chosen, not because you chose it for yourself.

• [05:15] – Generational identity: How Adele’s mother lost herself in motherhood, and Adele's path to becoming a "cycle breaker."

• [10:45] – The 10-year holding pattern: Navigating the profound shame, lack of support, and fear of the unknown that keeps us trapped in an identity that no longer fits.

• [15:25] – Somatic unpacking: Deconstructing our internal programming, nervous system patterns, and survival adaptations to spark change.

• [20:19] – The Pendulum Swing: Exploring the societal conditioning that forces women to oscillate between shrinking ("not enough") and fearing their own power ("too much").

• [23:43] – The Wrong Train Audit: Moving from your wounded self to your higher self to reclaim your path.

Links & Resources Mentioned

Connect with Adele OuYang:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adeleouyang/

• Website: https://adele-ouyang.com/

Connect with Allison & the Podcast:

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/yesiamtoomuch

• Website: www.yesiamtoomuch.com

👉Subscribe, Rate, & Review: If you are ready to get off the wrong train and claim your "too much" energy, subscribe to the show and leave a review

This Podcast is a Raur Studio Production www.instagram.com/raurstudio