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Ep 43 - Building Inclusive Communities: Finding Connection Without Social Anxiety
In a world that celebrates the loudest voices and the biggest followings, what if quiet spaces are where real belonging begins?In this deeply personal and connected conversation, Sara Lobkovich sits down with community strategist Carrie Melissa Jones to explore the surprising power of “quiet communities” — where introverts, neurodivergent folks, and the socially anxious can finally feel seen, heard, and safe.If you’ve ever felt like community just isn’t for you… this episode might just change everything.
Episode Highlights:
- Carrie’s journey with social anxiety and building inclusive, "quiet" communities
- Belonging without active participation—research and real-life insights
- Using bodily awareness and boundaries to stay grounded as a community creator
- Self-leadership and support systems to prevent burnout in community work
- Practical tips for both hosts and participants to feel more confident and aligned
Key Concepts Explored:
- Self-Regulation in Online Spaces: How digital communities offer spaces for thoughtful connection for introverts and neurodivergent people.
- Quiet Communities: Community spaces that don't demand constant engagement and allow people to participate on their own terms.
- Meaningful Engagement vs. Engagement for Engagement's Sake: The importance of connecting community activities to purpose and growth rather than arbitrary metrics.
- Body Awareness as Community Evaluation: Using physical reactions and feelings as guidance for whether a community is a good fit.
- Belonging Without Participation: Research findings on how affiliation alone can create a sense of belonging without requiring active involvement.
- Self-Leadership in Community Building: Managing internal dialogues and anxieties that arise when creating and managing communities.
- Community as Healing Practice: How creating spaces for others can help heal our own relationship to connection.
- Distributed Leadership: Inviting others' contributions rather than trying to do everything yourself.
- Community Building as a Long Game: The importance of patience and persistence in both building and participating in communities.
Notable Quotes:
"If there's a place that you wish existed... why not be the person that starts that?"
— Carrie Melissa Jones [00:13:00]
"You cannot do it alone. It's not a solo activity. To really create a community, you've got to see, recognize, and invite in the gifts of others and others' contributions."
— Carrie Melissa Jones[00:42:32] - [00:42:54]
I start everything I do scared and then once you get rolling it gets fun. Nothing starts fun. Everything starts with anxiety.
— Sara Lobkovich [00:46:45]
Chapters:
[00:00:00] Introduction and Meet Carrie Melissa Jones
[00:05:51] Social Anxiety and Career: Turning Challenges into Expertise
[00:11:22] Redefining Community: "Quiet Communities" and Meaningful Engagement
[00:15:38] Challenging the "Not a Joiner" Identity and Finding Your Fit
[00:19:53] Body Awareness: Using Physical Responses as Your Community Guide
[00:25:32] Advice for Shy Community Creators: Boundaries and Sustainability
[00:29:42] Research Insights: Belonging Without Active Participation
[00:39:03] Self-Leadership and Distributed Responsibility in Community Building
[00:44:30] Practical Pre-Launch Strategies and "Doing It Scared"
[00:48:10] The Long Game: Advice for Participants, Hosts, and Closing Thoughts
Upcoming Events:
- Q3 Strategic Achievement Intensive is now waitlisting!
- Join the no B.S. approach to goal-getting with Sara: saralobkovich.com/nobs-strategic-achievement-intensive
- Catch Sara at the World OKR Summit! She’ll be speaking this October 30–31: okrsummit.org
Book Launch:
- "You Are a Strategist: Use No-BS OKRs to Get Big Things Done" is now available in print (hardback and softback). Get the ebook today wherever you buy books.
Carrie’s Links and Resources:
- Website: carriemelissajones.com
- Book: "Building Brand Communities" co-authored with Charles Vogel
- Instagram: @CarrieMelissaJones
- LinkedIn: Carrie Melissa Jones
- CMJ Community: Professional community for community builders (find details on Carrie's website)
Sara’s Links and Resources:
- Email: [email protected]
- Website: thinkydoers.com
- Podcast: Thinkydoers Podcast (available on all major platforms)
- Social Media: Sara Lobkovich (across platforms)
- Newsletter: Subscribe at findrc.co/newsletter
Find full show notes and the episode transcript via https://findrc.co/thinkydoers !
Mentioned in this episode:
Don't forget your free No-BS OKRs Workbook
Before I let you go, I just wanna remind you, you can pick up your copy of "You Are a Strategist: Use No-BS OKRs to Get Big Things Done" at https://youareastrategist.com, and you'll get that free PDF of the "No-BS OKRs Workbook" when you purchase direct.
Don't wanna DIY it? Book a VIP executive strategy day with me. They can be used one-on-one. It can be used to facilitate an in-person or remote event with your org. It can also be used for a keynote that inspires actual results for your upcoming event.
Visit https://findrc.co/vipday for all the details.
And from there you can book a free executive strategy intake call, or request a no meeting virtual consult. A VIP executive strategy day helps you unlock clarity, align quickly, and drive results in just one powerful day.
Don't forget: Get your free No-BS OKRs Workbook or schedule a VIP Strategy Day!
Before I let you go, I just wanna remind you, you can pick up your copy of "You Are a Strategist: Use No-BS OKRs to Get Big Things Done" at https://youareastrategist.com, and you'll get that free PDF of the "No-BS OKRs Workbook" when you purchase direct.
Don't wanna DIY it? Book a VIP executive strategy day with me. They can be used one-on-one. It can be used to facilitate an in-person or remote event with your org. It can also be used for a keynote that inspires actual results for your upcoming event.
Visit https://findrc.co/vipday for all the details.
And from there you can book a free executive strategy intake call, or request a no meeting virtual consult. A VIP executive strategy day helps you unlock clarity, align quickly, and drive results in just one powerful day.
View all episodes
By Sara Lobkovich
5
88 ratings
In a world that celebrates the loudest voices and the biggest followings, what if quiet spaces are where real belonging begins?In this deeply personal and connected conversation, Sara Lobkovich sits down with community strategist Carrie Melissa Jones to explore the surprising power of “quiet communities” — where introverts, neurodivergent folks, and the socially anxious can finally feel seen, heard, and safe.If you’ve ever felt like community just isn’t for you… this episode might just change everything.
Episode Highlights:
- Carrie’s journey with social anxiety and building inclusive, "quiet" communities
- Belonging without active participation—research and real-life insights
- Using bodily awareness and boundaries to stay grounded as a community creator
- Self-leadership and support systems to prevent burnout in community work
- Practical tips for both hosts and participants to feel more confident and aligned
Key Concepts Explored:
- Self-Regulation in Online Spaces: How digital communities offer spaces for thoughtful connection for introverts and neurodivergent people.
- Quiet Communities: Community spaces that don't demand constant engagement and allow people to participate on their own terms.
- Meaningful Engagement vs. Engagement for Engagement's Sake: The importance of connecting community activities to purpose and growth rather than arbitrary metrics.
- Body Awareness as Community Evaluation: Using physical reactions and feelings as guidance for whether a community is a good fit.
- Belonging Without Participation: Research findings on how affiliation alone can create a sense of belonging without requiring active involvement.
- Self-Leadership in Community Building: Managing internal dialogues and anxieties that arise when creating and managing communities.
- Community as Healing Practice: How creating spaces for others can help heal our own relationship to connection.
- Distributed Leadership: Inviting others' contributions rather than trying to do everything yourself.
- Community Building as a Long Game: The importance of patience and persistence in both building and participating in communities.
Notable Quotes:
"If there's a place that you wish existed... why not be the person that starts that?"
— Carrie Melissa Jones [00:13:00]
"You cannot do it alone. It's not a solo activity. To really create a community, you've got to see, recognize, and invite in the gifts of others and others' contributions."
— Carrie Melissa Jones[00:42:32] - [00:42:54]
I start everything I do scared and then once you get rolling it gets fun. Nothing starts fun. Everything starts with anxiety.
— Sara Lobkovich [00:46:45]
Chapters:
[00:00:00] Introduction and Meet Carrie Melissa Jones
[00:05:51] Social Anxiety and Career: Turning Challenges into Expertise
[00:11:22] Redefining Community: "Quiet Communities" and Meaningful Engagement
[00:15:38] Challenging the "Not a Joiner" Identity and Finding Your Fit
[00:19:53] Body Awareness: Using Physical Responses as Your Community Guide
[00:25:32] Advice for Shy Community Creators: Boundaries and Sustainability
[00:29:42] Research Insights: Belonging Without Active Participation
[00:39:03] Self-Leadership and Distributed Responsibility in Community Building
[00:44:30] Practical Pre-Launch Strategies and "Doing It Scared"
[00:48:10] The Long Game: Advice for Participants, Hosts, and Closing Thoughts
Upcoming Events:
- Q3 Strategic Achievement Intensive is now waitlisting!
- Join the no B.S. approach to goal-getting with Sara: saralobkovich.com/nobs-strategic-achievement-intensive
- Catch Sara at the World OKR Summit! She’ll be speaking this October 30–31: okrsummit.org
Book Launch:
- "You Are a Strategist: Use No-BS OKRs to Get Big Things Done" is now available in print (hardback and softback). Get the ebook today wherever you buy books.
Carrie’s Links and Resources:
- Website: carriemelissajones.com
- Book: "Building Brand Communities" co-authored with Charles Vogel
- Instagram: @CarrieMelissaJones
- LinkedIn: Carrie Melissa Jones
- CMJ Community: Professional community for community builders (find details on Carrie's website)
Sara’s Links and Resources:
- Email: [email protected]
- Website: thinkydoers.com
- Podcast: Thinkydoers Podcast (available on all major platforms)
- Social Media: Sara Lobkovich (across platforms)
- Newsletter: Subscribe at findrc.co/newsletter
Find full show notes and the episode transcript via https://findrc.co/thinkydoers !
Mentioned in this episode:
Don't forget your free No-BS OKRs Workbook
Before I let you go, I just wanna remind you, you can pick up your copy of "You Are a Strategist: Use No-BS OKRs to Get Big Things Done" at https://youareastrategist.com, and you'll get that free PDF of the "No-BS OKRs Workbook" when you purchase direct.
Don't wanna DIY it? Book a VIP executive strategy day with me. They can be used one-on-one. It can be used to facilitate an in-person or remote event with your org. It can also be used for a keynote that inspires actual results for your upcoming event.
Visit https://findrc.co/vipday for all the details.
And from there you can book a free executive strategy intake call, or request a no meeting virtual consult. A VIP executive strategy day helps you unlock clarity, align quickly, and drive results in just one powerful day.
Don't forget: Get your free No-BS OKRs Workbook or schedule a VIP Strategy Day!
Before I let you go, I just wanna remind you, you can pick up your copy of "You Are a Strategist: Use No-BS OKRs to Get Big Things Done" at https://youareastrategist.com, and you'll get that free PDF of the "No-BS OKRs Workbook" when you purchase direct.
Don't wanna DIY it? Book a VIP executive strategy day with me. They can be used one-on-one. It can be used to facilitate an in-person or remote event with your org. It can also be used for a keynote that inspires actual results for your upcoming event.
Visit https://findrc.co/vipday for all the details.
And from there you can book a free executive strategy intake call, or request a no meeting virtual consult. A VIP executive strategy day helps you unlock clarity, align quickly, and drive results in just one powerful day.