Well, we've come to the end of the road, and I can let go. This book's too long for me, is it too long for you? (With infinite apologies to the smooth sounds of Boyz II Men). This week, Harry tells a strange tale, Dumbledore shows his hand a tiny bit, Hermione kidnaps a journalist, Cornelius is fudging awful, Snape is, OK, fine, brave as hell, and the twins get some well-deserved capital. Plus: Fights on a train, and I guess Ron is also there? Where has Ron been all this book?

This week's chapters: The Parting of the Ways & The Beginning

Next week: Goblet of Fire Movie Mini!