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Ep. 46: Forgive yourself. Period.
As humans, it is in our nature to punish ourselves when we do something wrong. But does punishing yourself ever really account for something good?
In this episode, we talk about forgiveness. And it’s not about forgiving a friend, a family member, or a loved one. It’s forgiving the most important person to you—you.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
People’s common response to making mistakes [3:53]
Beating yourself up—which is extremely unhealthy
Blaming yourself DOES NOT help
Dwelling in the past and wishing you’ve made a different choice
What’s important is asking yourself how to avoid making the same mistake
Why living in the shadow of your mistakes could be problematic [6:20]
You lose room for gratitude
What you did in the past shaped who are today
What have you learned from your mistakes?
Letting go of your mistakes [10:08]
Even the U.S. Constitution won’t prosecute you for the same offense—there’s no need for you to put yourself in trial repeatedly
Your mistakes don’t necessarily define who you are and who you’ll be
Give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes and use what you learned
Don’t let your mistakes stop you from preaching your story
The haze of choosing differently [15:52]
How can you make a different choice and stop beating yourself up?
How can you learn to forgive yourself, like how you forgive others?
If you spoke to yourself the way that you speak to other people, would you want to be in a relationship with YOU?
How can you choose you every day?
If you can forgive the horrendous mistakes others committed to you, can’t you do the same for yourself?
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Four Agreements
Double Jeopardy
Cuffing Season - Michael Todd
Brené Brown: Focus on guilt instead of shame
Masterclass with Sarah Blakely, Founder of Spanx
TO STAY CONNECTED:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at [email protected].
View all episodes
By Scott and Shaté HayesAs humans, it is in our nature to punish ourselves when we do something wrong. But does punishing yourself ever really account for something good?
In this episode, we talk about forgiveness. And it’s not about forgiving a friend, a family member, or a loved one. It’s forgiving the most important person to you—you.
WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:
People’s common response to making mistakes [3:53]
Beating yourself up—which is extremely unhealthy
Blaming yourself DOES NOT help
Dwelling in the past and wishing you’ve made a different choice
What’s important is asking yourself how to avoid making the same mistake
Why living in the shadow of your mistakes could be problematic [6:20]
You lose room for gratitude
What you did in the past shaped who are today
What have you learned from your mistakes?
Letting go of your mistakes [10:08]
Even the U.S. Constitution won’t prosecute you for the same offense—there’s no need for you to put yourself in trial repeatedly
Your mistakes don’t necessarily define who you are and who you’ll be
Give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes and use what you learned
Don’t let your mistakes stop you from preaching your story
The haze of choosing differently [15:52]
How can you make a different choice and stop beating yourself up?
How can you learn to forgive yourself, like how you forgive others?
If you spoke to yourself the way that you speak to other people, would you want to be in a relationship with YOU?
How can you choose you every day?
If you can forgive the horrendous mistakes others committed to you, can’t you do the same for yourself?
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Four Agreements
Double Jeopardy
Cuffing Season - Michael Todd
Brené Brown: Focus on guilt instead of shame
Masterclass with Sarah Blakely, Founder of Spanx
TO STAY CONNECTED:
Spotify Playlist - Music for this moment.
Follow @iamshate on Instagram
Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on Instagram
If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at [email protected].