Welcome to today's episode where we'll be exploring the difficult topic of self-forgiveness. Many of us have been in situations where we know we should have made a different decision, but instead, we made a mistake that ended up hurting someone else. It's easy to beat ourselves up and fall into a cycle of self-blame and regret, but how do we move forward and forgive ourselves when we're the ones at fault? 

Join us as we dive into strategies and techniques for practicing self-compassion and forgiveness, and ultimately finding peace and healing after making a mistake.

WHAT TO LISTEN FOR: 

How to forgive yourself when you’re at fault [0:24] 

• The first step towards self-forgiveness is acknowledging mistakes.

• Practice self-compassion and kindness towards yourself. 

• Let go of perfectionism. Embrace your imperfections and learn from them.

• Practice mindfulness. Stay in the present moment. 

• Don't let your past mistakes consume you.

• Seek support from loved ones or a therapist if needed. It's okay to ask for help and support during the process of self-forgiveness.

Navigating hurt feelings [2:37]

• Hurting someone's feelings intentionally or unintentionally feels bad either way.

• Difficult conversations that may hurt someone's feelings are sometimes necessary.

• Forgiveness is necessary for both the person who hurt someone's feelings intentionally and unintentionally.

• There are different levels of hurt, and forgiveness may be required depending on the situation.

• There may be a feeling of being misunderstood when intentions do not align with the impact of the words.

The inevitability of encountering "speed bumps" in human relationships [8:14] 

• We want the good without the bad in human relationships.

• Speed bumps and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship.

• The greatness of humanity is experiencing the entirety of emotions.

The key part of knowing who is at fault [14:10] 

• Knowing when you are at fault requires the other person to tell you and having a conversation about it in a productive and less emotionally charged way.

• Some people may not have the resolve to have difficult conversations and may just discard relationships when things don't go their way.

• We should aim to resolve conflicts in our relationships instead of throwing people away.

• Communicate with the other person and resolve the conflict

Unaddressed trauma and moving forward [16:43] 

• The amount of unaddressed trauma in society.

• There is a history of not addressing trauma and simply moving on.

• Society often focuses on moving forward rather than healing.

• Healing should be a more significant part of conversations around trauma.

• "Moving on" is often viewed as letting go of baggage, but this may not be the case

Navigating the haze of forgiving oneself [24:12]

• The struggle with reconciling with oneself when at fault in a situation which can lead to depression and making the same mistake repeatedly.

• Reframing failure as a natural part of life and adjust their goals accordingly.

• Taking action and not waiting until they are "ready" to pursue goals

What does that look like forgiving yourself? [35:35]

• Going through a “process of working through” the situation

• Affirming one's worthiness of forgiveness is important

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

• The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

TO STAY CONNECTED:

1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment.

2. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

3. Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠.