Holy candied nut! Can you believe we've approached the 50th episode of Monocycle? Some of them have been so stupid! Others have been regurgitations of articles that have gone up on Man Repeller (this was a test, which according to the last episode, is falling flat -- point noted!), but the majority, really, have been stream of consciousness monologues that I want to turn into dialogues because it can't be that all the thoughts I maintain are unique to just me, right? The thoughts I think, the feelings I feel...as different as we are, we're also the same. Joy is joy and grief is grief and as much as the latter sucks, it is also incredible that we have the capacity to show empathy or compassion to each other.

This has nothing to do with the episode, by the way, which was recorded while I sat nearly-naked on a marble bathroom floor in Paris earlier this week. I was feeling SO BLUE and I'm not sure why (though honestly, my life has felt more like its on hold in a deep blue vacuum than anything else since pregnancy-gate 2016), so I called my husband, but he didn't pick up, and instead turned on my recorder and pretended that I was talking to frankly anyone who would listen and the result is episode 50. Lmk if it's extremely convoluted.

And if you're unfamiliar with Monocycle, or just simply want to take a stroll down memory lane, here are some of my favorite episodes to date:

Episode 1 -- On experiencing (and hopefully recovering from) burnout.

Episode 6 -- About why I chose to take my husband's last name.

Episode 14 -- About the thought process of getting dressed.

Episode 38 -- A response to a response about cultural appropriation at Marc Jacobs' Spring 2017 show (the one that happened last September).

Monocycle is edited by Nicholas Quazzy Alexander. Logo illustration by Kelly Shami; Photo by BSIP/Universal Images Group via Getty Images.