Men In Relationships

Ep. 51 Why Our Thoughts Give Rise To Our Fears


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I find it fascinating how our thoughts drastically impact every aspect of our life. Specifically, the amount of fear we perceive, experience and create.

I’ve found that our external INPUT has a direct correlation with the type of thoughts that populate our minds each day. I believe we need to be very cautious, aware, and intentional with what gets put into our minds. Thoughts will stem from our input, and our thoughts will create our emotions. (This includes fear)

Thoughts can be self-fulfilling prophecies. If repeated enough we can subconsciously manifest what we think and believe over time. Believing and thinking about the same negative thoughts will taint our perception. Thoughts prove to be so powerful. The mere thought of a fearful experience (past or future) can lead to the same physical feelings (if not more intense) than the ones we would have felt if that event were to actually happen. 

Thankfully there is a framework to help with this fear response. The ‘I’ framework.

1) Initial Input: Monitor and be aware of our external inputs. Even if we consume an input, we have the power to interpret what it means in our life. We don’t need to accept that input as our truth, nor do we need to believe it. Be aware of potentially harmful inputs such as the media/news, gossip, the people you spend time with that are negative, the books and articles you read. Remember that negative news is approximately 7-10x more captivating than positive news. It’s no wonder why news channel headlines are always negative. 

2) Interrupt: If you catch yourself with perpetuating fearful thoughts try the ‘Relaxation Response’. 

-6 deep abdominal breathes (more if needed). I bet you’re saying ya, ya I know… But how often do you actually do this?

-Focus on a soothing word or phrase

-Visualize yourself (in a clear picture/vision) AFTER the fearful event, or circumstance causing these thoughts has passed.

-If you are not a visual person, try repeating a mantra (that also implies you are past the fearful event or circumstance.) Ex. I have arrived safe and sound.

3) Interject: Consciously talk in your head (or out loud) after you are in a more relaxed state. This is to make sure you don’t revert back to the fearful thoughts. Try to include positive and optimistic thoughts. Although sometimes this may be difficult, and it might be more helpful to simply think about a neutral thought. 

If you are someone who battles with fearful thoughts, then this is a must listen! I hope this helps in even the smallest way! :)

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Men In RelationshipsBy Joel Mahe

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