We hate to agree with the truly evil Hogwarts High Inquisitor, but wow, does she have Professor Trelawney pegged. This week, Fudge signs an executive order; Hogwarts finally gets a performance management system; Hermione reads the whole textbook, shocking no one; Zacharias Smith suuuuucks; and Harry finally gets to look truly cool in front of Cho. Plus: God save the teens.

This week's chapters: The Hogwarts High Inquisitor & In the Hog's Head

Next week's chapters: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four & Dumbledore's Army