(Airdate: 7.9.25)

It's Amazon Prime Day #2, which means your credit card is sweating and your porch is about to look like an unboxing channel exploded. Bonus: it also happens to be the shortest day in recorded history—shortened by a thrilling 1.3 microseconds. What did you do with your extra blink?

TSA now says you can keep your shoes on, so there's one less indignity at the airport to worry about. Meanwhile, the internet's losing it over a 1937 painting that might show an iPhone. Barbie is getting real with her first doll rocking a glucose monitor and insulin pump. A TikToker casually admits he lied his way into a job—because, apparently, résumés are now works of fiction.

A woman sleepwalks into a DoorDash order for one lonely packet of honey mustard. And in job satisfaction news, weed and vape shop employees are somehow the happiest workers in America, who knew? Plus Things You Need to Know Today and Would You Rather Wednesday.

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