(Airdate: 7.11.25)

Ttoday: The universe now has an official expiration date (but don't cancel your gym membership just yet), and a kid in Ohio goes full claw machine commando in a quest for plush glory. Plus, one woman's Prime Day nightmare lasted a full year. Over in Florida, the Crazy Crime story brings us a backyard shed med spa, paralysis, and a whole lot of fake credentials.

Happy 7-Eleven Day! That means one thing: FREE SLURPEES. All day long, today's the day to brain-freeze like a champ.

It's F My Life Friday, we've also got your AI Dad Jokes, a new round of Normal or Nope, Things You Need to Know Today, and we unpack reasons your cat stares off intospace. Plus, more delightful nonsense your brain to go along with that freeze.

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