Healing Myself

Ep. 53: Bigger than my bottom.


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“If you want to have a conversation with me about who I am, don't just talk to me about my failures. Don't just talk to me about my bottom moments. My story is in my “keep going.” In the times where I was not doing the greatest, but I kept going.” - Karega Bailey 

What an empowering statement! We often forget that we are more than just the sum of our experiences, and we have the power to shape our own identities and narratives. 

This episode serves as a reminder that we can choose to learn from our struggles, grow from them, and use them as opportunities for personal development and growth.


WHAT TO LISTEN FOR 

What does it mean to be in a “bottom moment” [3:54]

  • Those time when you “didn’t get it right”, impacting you and people you care about

  • When things aren’t in your control (but don’t necessarily define who you are) 

  • When you’re in the lowest part of your life (e.g. substance abuse, losing a loved one, etc.)

The dangers of centering our identity on our bottom moments [9:09]

  • Self-sabotaging yourself to believing that “the real you” is the you when you’re in the lowest 

  • Having the emotional weight of doing something that is not in alignment with your values

  • Missing opportunities for growth 

  • Failure to give grace to yourself, which often results in failure to give grace to others 

The haze of pulling yourself out of those bottom moments [15:57] 

  • Getting over the desire to want to feel good all the time could be a challenge as you attempt to rise up

  • Remembering that life is a balance of highs and lows could be hard sometimes 

  • Being mindful of how you talk to yourself 

  • Finding practical ways to be good to yourself 

Navigating the haze [26:40] 

  • Discovering tools that will push you to be less hard on yourself (movement, therapy, meditations, applications, etc.)

  • Setting boundaries to people who continue to hold you hostage of your bottom moments 

  • Reminding the people close to you that you are human and your mistakes don’t define you

Lessons on bottom moments [36:39]

  • Your bottom moments are also the best moments to learn and grow 

  • Your bottom moments are also beginnings


RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

Brene Brown - Shame vs. Guilt

Black Love Doc  

Listen to I Am Light by India.Arie


TO STAY CONNECTED:

  1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment.

  2. Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  3. Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you'd like either of us to join your next panel or event, please email us at [email protected].

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Healing MyselfBy Scott and Shaté Hayes