You must be in the room of requirement, because we have just what you need—another Quibbler episode! This week, Umbridge makes a fun new rule; Trelawney rages against the machine; Snape angrily elongates words; the twins engage in some performative synchronized puking; Dobby swoops in with vital information for no good reason; Harry teaches the only spell he knows; and Hermione shows some rare poor judgment. Plus: Professor Grubbly Plank is serving some serious androgynous lewks.

This week's chapters: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four & Dumbledore's Army

Next week's chapters: The Lion and the Serpent & Hagrid's Tale